How about Friendship using the opposite gender in France?

16 Remarks

I actually do agree, We additionally believe that friendships can be as strong between guys as both women and men. I’ve been many times in the usa, though I never ever lived here for some time, and I also believe that relationships between genders are a bit more sexually-oriented. In France, I had as easily boys and girls friends as I grew up, at school, music or in the sport club. As a grown-up, my companion is a guy (and I also have always been a female), and it is not shocking at all though it is not such a common thing.

One could additionally note you could ask someone away and it wouldn’t normally immediately be a romantic date. See a film, have drink, these are the master of things a couple of various genders can do as friends easily, and never dating.

That is needless to say simply my experience, but i have found friendships with French guys become nearly impossible. The idea that is whole of” friendship will not seem to occur right here – there’s always some sort of subcontext behind it. Of the many men that are french understand, i can not actually think about any that have close woman buddies apart from their wife/girlfriend. And any efforts i have designed to it’s the perfect time using them have now been strictly rebutted by their partner.

I have seen it take place with numerous friends as well – they meet French men and tell them which they desire to be buddies since they have boyfriend or they truly are maybe not interested, in addition to guy will state “No problem”, then again constantly invariably eventually ends up wanting to make a move. But that said, Frenchmen whom’ve been abroad (such as for example yourself Frenchman) appear to appreciate this occurrence better and appear to be more capable of those friendships that are non-sexual.

I really do think it may possibly be a difference that is cultural.

We anglophones are therefore concerned about intimate harassment that male/female friendships have actually nearly been androgonized, whereas in France the functions continue to be more defined/traditional.

Laetitia: Precisely. After a while as almost 100% of American women I’d ask for a coffee or something will automatically think “date” while I had many female friends in the US too, becoming friends with them was “harder” because I often had to “give proof” that it’s all I wanted, and very often, they’d feel comfortable with me.

Sam: i do believe we have had this conversation before, but we nevertheless disagree, but still feel you merely came across the incorrect individuals. With no, gender roles are far more defined in the usa, no relevant concern about this. It is in the usa maybe not in France which you have actually things such as “chick flicks”, it really is in the usa maybe not in France that dudes “go away with the men during the activities club” and ladies have “girls night”, in France when you are away, you merely head out together with your buddies, and it is really unusual that it is just dudes or only girls, it is always a mixture of things. As well as partners, French partners generally have typical hobbies, whilst in many US partners, the person has their hobbies (usually along with other dudes) in addition to woman has hers (usually along with other women culture that is). American more gender defined compared to French one

I do believe this topic is more centered on the individual you will be (or are trying relationship with), irrespective of nationality. I’d plenty of guy buddies in the us, homosexual and right … and i have currently made a couple of man buddies right here also (in my own twelve months). I have additionally made few buddies … without the stigma from either celebration. But anyhoo…yeah I believe it really is just who ya meet and exactly how you address it.

I do not know…I experienced a lot of male buddies in the usa and i truly enjoyed hanging out using them. It really is one thing We undoubtedly miss over here.

And Frenchman, I do not think it’s particular to where we lived before – the same task goes for Paris too. I have met many people through the years, and I also can just only think of two that have right, male friends (and they are a great deal older). During my selection of buddies, there are many Frenchmen that is gay and few foreign men, but no straight people. As soon as i do believe associated with the females that are french knew back Bretagne, i cannot actually think about any that has male buddies either – they just had the boyfriends/husbands of these woman buddies, never evertheless they never hung away together.

Something different we thought of – i will be truly the only feminine within an workplace of men when we began traveling together with them for work, my (French feminine) clients used to inquire of me “Doesn’t your spouse brain you are vacationing with them? Think about their spouses? ” from the being amazed by the concern given that it was not also something which had crossed my head!

Well KSam, exactly what can we state? You must surround your self with one sort of individuals “only? ” because when I stated, needless to say the kind of individuals you describe exists, nevertheless they’re only one sort among numerous.

As “Je ne regrette rien” states I’d be tempted to state so it varies according to the individual you may be, maybe not where you stand.

I’m not sure, the character concept does not explain it for me – if so, the individual would not have friends that are male either nation or along with other foreigners. It is a fact though that the numerous of publications written in regards to the differences that are cultural the usa and France also mention that platonic friendships are a great deal rarer in France. I am certainly not saying they have been impossible or never ever occur nonetheless.

And I also do not think we go out with only one type of individual – in reality we frequently discuss exactly how many of us could have never ever met inside our house nations because we traveled in numerous sectors. You need to know Frenchman, you read lots of their blog sites!

I do not suggest character by “the type of individual you are”, or at the least not merely personality, but class that is also social training, history as a whole, etc.

Additionally, you as well as the friends you mention have trait that is common no French individuals has: you are not French. ??

That I could never be friends with while I always had female friends from many nationalities (not only French and American), I know that there are a bunch of American women (and not only American, but that’s the topic here…

It is my experience additionally that in France male-female “platonic” friendships are extremely regular. I’ve a dozen of female buddies in France (and much more friends that are male that’s maybe perhaps not the purpose) and a lot of of the people my age I understand do too. I do not care generally speaking for contrived dudes out night. Either we have actually a provided interest with individuals and I also’ll enjoy heading out together with them, or I do not, gender does not matter much.

French girls and boys get precisely the education that is same share exactly the same tasks, activities and games, less “gender” defined than in United States Of America. It generally does not signify in France reigns an equality that is idyllic women and men, we have been definately not it! Nonetheless it suggests a “complicit?” (could not find A english comparable term for that. ) between gents and ladies i did not find elsewhere in western nations. Ksam, I perhaps a reason in regards to the presssing conditions that you’ve got met with. There clearly was a popular game we choose to play in France, whoever guidelines are understood and internalized by everyone, we call it “marivaudage” or “badinage” in addition to English “banter” doesn’t translate completely the entire concept. It really is a casino game with terms, wit, gestures, it seems like “flirting” but it is simply a game title without effects or innuendos. I have seen a lot of funny misunderstandings about it whenever no-French individuals (females) suffer from it. It describes additionally why those who travel (as i really do) “seem to comprehend this phenomenon better” while you penned. Simply it won’t be understood as a game but like a sort of “boring typical French harassment” because we know!

I do not suggest to constantly speak about the usa since this weblog is primarily about France, (guess the particular type of English associated with blog draws a sizable interest that is US but i will be through the US, and so I will get ahead and get it done anyhow.